Hi, there! Today, I am going to tell you a tale of such stupidity and dimwittedness that you’re going to think it’s all made up. “Man sues Apple” isn’t a title you get to read every day, and that’s what makes this tale so interesting.
Thomas Ross — remember this name, commit it to your memory. And for the rest of your life, if you ever feel like you’ve done something stupid, recall this name, and instantaneously you’ll feel so good about yourself that you’ll forgive yourself for whatever tomfoolery you may have been up to. He’s in the same league as the Roman emperor Caligula.
Who? This guy right here …
Coming back to the talented Mr. Ross, he has filed his lawsuit in the Southern District of Florida. His claim is that he had originally invented the concept of an “electronic reading device” way back in 1992, which Apple copied to make the iPhone. As you may remember, the first iPhone was launched nine years ago in 2007; so Mr. Ross has given himself a good decade-and-a-half’s head start to make a strong case.
He goes on to say that he had also filed for a patent for his alleged invention of an iPhone. However, the patent office marked his application as “Abandoned” due to non-payment of fees in 1995. Mr Ross has since been inactive, until last year when he copyrighted the drawings of his ideas. He is now suing Apple for infringement of those copyrights.
Here are his design sketches:
He’s also reproduced a design for a two screen device and claims that Apple has recently patented one such device. Again, the claim is that Apple is mooching off his intellectual property.
Mr Ross has said in court that Apple has “hijacked and exploited” his inventions without giving him any credit. Now, as a compensation for his “troubles”, he’s claiming $11 billion in damages — roughly INR 74,000 crores. Add to that another $10 billion in restitution — that’s INR 67,250 crores. So a combined amount of 1,41,250 crores. That’s half of India’s defence budget!!
You’d think that would be enough for Rossy McRossenberg. But, no! He also wants at least 1.5% of all the sales Apple generates worldwide from now on. At least 1.5%. How considerate of him!
This is worse than the time some idiot sued Apple because an iPhone could “make calls and take photos”. Yeah, right. Great catch genius. Now go sue the sun because it produces heat and light.
Here’s what I think about this whole issue:
This guy is the epitome of fuck-all idiocy. He’s the greatest self-deluded douchebag walking this planet. Well maybe not the greatest, because the first place is firmly held by Donald Trump. Yes, yes. I went there. Sue me!
