So you have marked the BIG date in your calendar. Decision has been made to go with the bigger (read: gigantic) iPhone 6 Plus. The retail store that is likely to draw the least crowd yet have enough stocks has been strategically identified. Plans have been made to reach about an hour before the stores open. Basically everything that could have been pre-done has be done.
What now? How do you get past the irritatingly long 10 days till the iPhone 6 Plus launches in India on 17th October. We have an idea. Actually, we have 5 ideas!
1. Visit The Rival Camp
There is no easy way to say this. We know what we’re asking you to do is going to take a toll on your ego and will make you question your loyalties, but for the greater good you need to step into a Samsung showroom.
As you enter, head straight for the Galaxy Note 4. It’s the closest match to iPhone 6 Plus’s dimensions. Note 4 is 6 x 3.1 x 0.34 inches, while 6 Plus is 6.2 x 3.1 x 0.28, although the size is 5.7 inches compared to 5.5 inches on iPhone. Look past the jarring UI and questionable plastic; just focus on how the phone feels in your hand. Try holding it to your ear, pocketing it and decide whether you are ready for the monstrous iPhone.
Pro tip: Safeguard your identity by visiting the Samsung Store at an odd time, better still choose a multi-brand outlet. And if you see some other people doing the the same ritual around you then give them a ‘see you at the iStore’ smile.
2. Fake It Till You Make It
If you wish to take your paranoia to the next level – which we know you do – then download and print for yourself this paper replica of iPhone 6 Plus (you can get one for iPhone 6 as well for comparison) from Arstechnica.
Don’t just examine the cut out and toss it in the bin, spend some quality time with it. Keep it on your table, move around with it, and even imagine taking selfies with the this toy-phone. Carrying around a paper iPhone feels as weird as it sounds (trust us, we can been doing it since a week) but it serves as a worthy preparation for the wonderful life with iPhone 6 Plus.
3. Go Trousers Shopping
So you passed the above two tests and stuck to your decision of going for the larger iPhone. Bravo! Good for you! Now do yourself a favor. Go to the nearby mall and buy yourself half a dozen pairs of big pocket trousers. You know why, right?
Good old cargo pants might do the trick or you can go as funky as you like. Rest assured that if your brand new iPhone 6 Plus fails to turn enough heads, your trousers will definitely make up the numbers. Get ready to be a rockstar!
4. Enter All Possible Contests
The digital world is full of the weirdest of contests and competitions, some of which pay unexplainable cash rewards. It’s time to sign up for all these lotteries. You need to give yourself the best chance to win all the money you can to pay up for the cost of your dream iPhone model. Remember the 128gb iPhone 6 Plus costs Rs. 80,500, unless your surname is Khan or Ambani, you will find it hard to afford it without some free-cash.
Issued in public interest: Please be aware that we are not promoting gambling of any kind. We are only asking you to participate in mindless money making contest to pay for a mindless money spending act. Don’t agree? ask your dad.
5. Pray At Least Twice A Day
The last thing on the list is to get God on your side. For next 10 days you should invoke your religious instincts and pray at least twice a day. Pray to find stock of the colour and model of your choice in store you have picked. We have all heard horror stories of extremely limited iPhone 6 Plus stocks and we need divine intervention to save us from the humiliation of returning empty handed on the launch day – especially after all that boasting you’ve been doing.
If at any time your faith dwindles, imagine the scenario where you don’t the phone on the first day but your friend does. What tragedy will that be!